G-MEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNN

New York- Yeah I know I haven't posted a damn thing this weekend going into round 2 of the NFL Playoffs. Normally this would be an issue of laziness. But I say to you that is only half the case here. I've been hesitant to make a play on the Giants Packers game. No game has left me thinking more. Lets get real, 4 points was too much for the 9ers to be getting at home with that defense,  Tebow didn't have a prayer and T.J. Yates is still a rookie on the road vs a defense lead by a felon. The only game that made me wonder against the spread was Packers Giants.

Classic nobody believed in us game last week by the boys in blue, now with the ghost of 07 rearing its head, nobody can ignore these Giants. In a surprise turn of events, people have forgotten the 15-1 defending Super Bowl Champion Packers. What in Gods name do you do with that when the Giants are getting 9 points?

I have no clue whats gonna happen here, but I know that when the weather gets cold and Tom Coughlins face turns red like a decrepit old Red Skull, the New York Football Giants do WORK. The Packers are built for a dome an they're playing in open air in the Midwest. The Packers don't have a real run game which should allow the Giants edge rushers to hammer Rodgers.

Handle Bar Stache: Not creepy since 1973

Rogers on the other hand is mobile in the pocket enough to avoid the rush just long enough. He's done it on the road in January an hes getting his first shot a doing it at home. Add to the mix that the Packers come in healthier than they've been in quite some time and this one is a real head scratcher. 

 07 and 05 Division Rd Flop Honoree
The Manning Face

Really this all comes down to one thing. Its gotta happen to someone. For the last 5-6 years we've had a Heavily favored Rd. 2 home team coming off a bye losing that no one ever sees coming. Since we already covered it wont be any of the other 3 teams this Divisional Round Playoff weekend. I'm going for it here with the G-Men getting the 9 (down from 12 points) at the time of this post.

Prediction: I know I'm getting 9 but you dont take a Road Dog in the Playoffs unless you think u've got it outright.

Giants 37 Packers 30

To take the +260 ML at 38.45 to win 100, get that line here Bovada

Bru-Tang Clan aint nutin to...

New York- Keeping with my promise from yesterday I'm talking Bruins here folks, and By Gosh We've got a slober knocker in Bean Town tonight. The same team that stopped many a Bruins run and denied the greatest hockey player of all time (Blow me Gretzky) from his fair share Stanley Cup glory enters the TD Garden for a showdown with the 2nd place Bruins. Look, I know next to nothing about hockey, but I do know the Bruins beating the Habs in game 7 last year almost a year to the day after the most epic collapse in NHL history was enough for me to ride the bandwagon to pay dirt. The Habs come into tonight last place in the conference, and are making a bid for the worst team in hockey. But just like the Chiefs beating the Packers (had to reference a sport people watch) anything can happen on the ice. Should be a hell of a game with Marchand out for the 2nd of 5 suspended games look for the young man Senguin to up his team leading goal total of 17. Above all look for Tim Thomas to find and excuse to recreate one of the coolest fights in recent NHL memory.  

Prediction: 4-1 Bruins

Fact: Gentlemen prefer blondes

Bru-Tang Clan

New York- Okay so for those who don't know, I'm an outcast in New York. Dear readers, you are talking to one of a few chosen people who claim allegiance to The Red Sox Nation while residing in enemy territory. Ill give you time to pick your jaw up off the floor. Done? Good. Now this leads to many questions so let me rip through the easy one. I am a die hard Jets fan to the point where I'd like to make Fireman Ed the God Father to my first son.

My son is gonna be a BOSS!

The question of basketball is a touchy subject, my allegiance goes to the Knicks not by default, but because Reggie Miller is up there with The Dark and Nap Time as things I most feared and hated as a child. I still root for the Celtics when the Knicks are out but I think that's because KG is just a beast, Scalabrine made me believe white boys can ball and cause they're so hardcore Irish.

Hockey is the one sport I flip flop on hardcore. I've been to one Rangers game in my life. I was too young for the 94 team to have a real impact on my life and didn't care enough when we got Gretzky. I liked the idea of Avery's Army but they dumped him. I still root hard for the Rangers in the playoffs, but I can't name 5 players. On the flip side Tim Thomas is my personal hockey hero.

Dude with the beard in the background, so Epic.

Look I'm not a self hating New Yorker, it just that a guy like Tim Thomas can come out of nowhere, a career backup and run shit through the Stanley Cup right down to crushing his Save Percentage prop. I love the Bruins for the same reason the Oklahoma City Thunder will hold a special place in my heart for eternity, because when they brought on the duck boats last year I cashed in for around 3 grand. Their Stanley Cup run last year was akin to a Disney Movie for a gambling junky like myself and for that I still play Dropkick Murphys version of Nutty as my wake up alarm to get me fired up for my day.

This song made Paint Ball played by others cool, just saying.

Add in one of the most fun lines in hockey between Bergeron, Marchand and Seguin and you've got my new favorite hockey team. The one thing I can't stand about dynasties in sports is that the team gets lazy. Look at Kobe, Derek Fisher and Pau Gasol last year, tell me they were motivated for a single game of the Mavs series and you sir or madam are a liar. Same thing with the 07 Pats, they had the champagne on ice starting in mid November than this happened. 

I will use any excuse I can to play this clip.

The three guys on the Bruins second line treat the game with child like excitement. Gotta love that. Marchand recently had his first hat trick, Seguin is a ballsy young prick who's already won a cup but couldn't legally drink the champagne and Bergeron is the leader of the bunch putting his mates above himself to tally up wins. These guys play like young kids out on a pond, looking to have fun and win above all else. I know the Rangers are on a hot streak and this Broadway Fedora thing seems to have legs, but they just don't have a Bru-Tang Clan bunch and that sucks. For more proof on how awesome the New England members of the Original 6 are check out Marchands  Running Diary of the Season.

I rooted for the Blue Shirts in The Winter Classic, which was glorious, and I will jump back on the band wagon if the Brown Bears collapse, but as of right now, if for no other reason than to bust Matt's Balls, this blog reports from Bruin Country. Old Time Hockey baby!

Creepin Up The Chart!

P.S. I added two more items to my Christmas/Birthday (Whichever comes first) List. 

Mitchell and Ness, just try and hate on that.

This should appeal to any hockey fan or guy with fashion sense.

                                     

AWESOME THING I MUST HAVE pt. 2

New York- Note: This is a new running feature I'm starting that will entail the new and fun things I find that I must have, but am probably too lazy to search Amazon for. These are the types of things I see and wish were already in my apartment, and forget about after 2-3 minutes. That's right dear readers, you are all being subjected to my sticky notes, I hope you enjoy.

Yup its real, whatever you write it puts on a piece of toast. Throw out your sticky notes cause telling me to take the trash out on a toasted PB&J has aout a 70% greater success rate. Imagine starting your day off with coffee, a bowl of cereal and a freshly buttered piece of "You're fucking awesome" Toast. Well imagine no longer, just get the Toast Messenger. I have yet to actually find one for sale, but I'm convinced they're real. In case you do find one I'm adding it to my Christmas/Birthday (whatever comes first) List so hook it up.

Timeflies

New York- So as I covered in the post about Artists I want to hang out with Cal and Rez are some cool dudes and Timeflies is the shit. I figured what better time to post their Cotton Bowl video than during the funeral for college football following last nights debacle of a title game.

In case you missed it, there were guys in Iowa State colors running around while your adrenaline was spiking. I don't need to tell you that the build and drop straight up owned music last year, but this has got to be the best example. They've hit the turning point for most new artists where their music can be played over sports highlights and have the entire experience be enjoyable. I'm especially glad that I only spotted 1 Big 10 uniform in the whole video. Songs like turn it up deserve the big boy passing offenses of the Big 12 and Pac 10. Gus Johnson losing his mind on the back end is the cherry on this delicious end of work Sundae enjoy.

Also in case you missed it or are questioning whether or not to root for these guys, i point you to Exhibit B.

Try to hate on em. I dare ya.


P.S. Great move by the Big 10 locking down Gus Johnson, sure the move may have cost him his job at CBS and ruined March Madness but someone had to get us through the college football regular season and this is the only dude I want to get me through another 3 yard run up the gut. This guy could get me amped up to watch paint dry. Put Gus Johnson on a USO tour and the U.S. would win every conflict were embattled in within the next 3 months.

2 Broke Girls

New York- Alright its Monday night and you somehow haven't broken your TV by throwing a shoe at it during the Steelers disaster or Mark Mcguires continued omission from the Baseball Hall of Fame so what is there to do? Well you could watch the BCS National Title game which I refuse to write about, but you would be asleep faster than your grandfather watching Matlock R.I.P. (Holy Crap, Andy Griffith isn't dead yet?!?) reruns. Or you could tune into C.B.S. brain melting half hour of bliss, 2 Broke Girls.

Now I know what you're thinking, you eat red meat, you enjoy sports and explosions and Dr. Pepper 10, how could you in good conscious watch such programing? The answer is simple, I need to tune out watching a fictionalized NYC and How to Make it in America is gone R.I.P. When I get home from a night of eating wings at a dime a pop I want something I get to turn my brain off and stare at. Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs do the trick.

Do I always know whats going on? Hell no. I know at one point, they had a horse, they live in Brooklyn and you guessed it they're broke. There's a wise cracking black dude behind the counter who's older than dirt, a tiny lil Asian man who apparently runs the dinner they work at and a skevy Eastern European dude who hits on chicks in a fashion I strive for. There's also a fun bit of supporting characters like an out of it mother of 2 who applies fake tans to infants, a "street artist" also known as a broke bar tender and once again a freaking horse. I do know they have silly mad cap adventures and a lot of snarky comments towards hipsters and that suits me just fine. Plug it in your DVR and enjoy, as far as I can tell the only running plot is the amount of money in their savings account which is tallied conveniently at the end of every episode. I didn't catch it from the beginning and you don't have to either, thats the beauty, no commitment needed. Give me predictable jokes and a laugh track and I'm good most nights. If there happens to be bonds formed with the characters its a plus in most cases but here I enjoy popping in getting my kicks and bailing out no strings attached, kind of like a running 1 night stand, except without the crabs. Can't go wrong there, enjoy dear readers. 

P.S. Kat Dennings is that special kind of nerd hot, like she would make you feel really bad about it, but would eventually sit down and play Halo or read comics with you. Shes like a curvy Kristin Bell, except when she does Romantic Comedies they remind me that Michael Cera may have a decent career after all and they don't make me want to bludgeon Josh Duhamell to death.

Playoffs??!!??

New York- Wow, 1 for 1 already (I made it a rule, its not madatory to make a selection when 2 rookie QB's meet in a plyoff game, trust me its for the best.) Looking to go 3 for 3 this wild card weekend.

Who Dat? Who Dat? Who Dat said dey gone beat dem Saints??? Honestly dont knowif anyone will at this point but my first contender from the playoff preview looked damn good against one of the best D-Lines in football. Hell the Saints covered the -13.5 with relative ease and only brought their A game for the second half. I credit that win to the shee fact that you give folks from Nawlins a reason to start partying early (tailgating) by game time they will be a rowdy raucus mess of hummanity. The Saints have won every prime time home game by about 1,000,003 points. If the double upset occurs next week and both the 9ers AND Packers are sent home (which i think is a damn good possibility) the road to the Super Bowl takes a U-Turn back through the Bayou meaning the Saints defenitly for real.

Falcons @ GIANTS (-3)

Like every other sports blog out there the home team is in caps and you know what that mean, Matty Ice is being forced to play outdoors, in January, against the most clutch 4th quarter QB of all time. Say that back to youself one time and tell me you honestly feel comfortable laying a dollar on the most unprove comodity in the NFL, Matt Ryan. Everyone bags on Marino for not wining a ring, Matt Ryan is considered borderline elite and he has yet to notch a January win. The Falcons are the most left handed running team in football and that means theyre going to give Michael Turner the ball and hope he doesnt get his arms and legs ripped off by this man.

Dude is defenitly related to the Cracken monster from pirates of the caribean. Just a freightining mess of arms and legs storming through your O-Line, I would be suprised if Turners head is on using anything but duct tape. Roddy White lea the league in drops, Julio Jones is still a year away from bing the player they need him to be and the Giants are the one team in the playoffs that can get excelent pass rush without blitzing as their ends are that good. I don't see it being a blow out, but the Giants will tack on a late score and cruise to he finish line, onto Title Town for a rematch with the cheese heads.

GIANTS 35 Falcons 20

Giants D Line: Over 4 Sacks.
Matty Ryan: Over .5 INT's
Victor Cruz: Over 1.5 times my GF mentions how sexy his Salsa is.

Steelers @ Broncos +9

Look, God had to take Sundays off at some point. I dunno maybe a bolt of lightining rains down from the sky and smites Big Ben for his drunken southern debauchery and failure to obey helmet laws. Is it likely, no, but then again how likely is it Tim Tebow would ever start a playoff game, yet here we are. (For shame AFC West, for shame)

I think its way more likely we see two very strong, hit you in the mouth, but cant take the ball from you deffenses sluging it out. They were both way down towards the bottom in the league in Turnover Differential, in fact only 2 teams were worse than Pittsburghs -13. This is a huge factor when you think of just how much that number means. I dont give you good starting field positon, you give me good starting field position. For all the swiss cheese holes in Green Bays D, they're +24 (A.K.A. good for one and a half a game) in turnover differential, an they can let their offense shut it down for them.

I know its cliche but i think that changes in the playoffs, i think hard gritty determined deffenes win titles. The added caviat in todays league is you need a compotent offense, the 85 Bears migt not even be able to hack it in todays QB friendly era so D isn't quite enough. I think the Steelers are due. Now I know just about everyone rolled their eyes, but I was reading articles in week 6 about how the Steelers couldn't keep playing this well and remain unlucky with the turnovers. Eventually that will have to be true.

And what better time then when paying a visit to Mr. Sunday himself Tim Tebow. We all know the Rudy like story of the home schooled son of 2 Missionary parents who travels the world helping desolate viliages and retaining his virginity. And because we all think life should be a Disney movie we want to see that guy suceed. Look, theres a reason no one like Tebow has been successful up to this point, because this is not a scrapy tale of rag tag 7 year olds who are gonna win it all by doing it their way (we already have the Mighty Ducks thank you very much) This is the damn NFL. Things are done a ceartin way because they work now stop asking questions, go cut your hair and get a job.

Wow sorry sounded like my father for a second there. look Teow is fun and he will make a great TE or Full Back on day, hes a great runner, excelent leader and a great man. Dating my dagter sure, throwing the football in January? Not unless his team is out of the playoffs and hes in the Philipines showing some other poor child the incorrect way to toss the Pig Skin. Tebow has been on the upswing after not turning the ball over at all on his miraculous win streak to averaging 1.33 picks over his last 3 weeks. And were not talking Ravens an 9ers here, 2 of those defenses were the Pats and Bills, neither one of which hold a candle to the Steelers. I think both numbers grow this week as Tebow throws enough INT's to round that average out at 1.5 an the losing streak goes to 4, now will someone wrestle that sniper rifle out of John Elways hands please?!?

Steelers: 28 Broncos: 10

Steelers D: Over 2 Take Aways
Broncos D: Under .5 times they look like they can win it on their own.
Tim Tebow: Over 5 times my GF asks me why they let that terrible white guy throw the football.