This guys got a blog???: August 2013

You know that phase you go through as a small child when you refuse to eat anything good for you? Mom has to threaten to take away desert if you don't eat your peas, you forgo snack time because you refuse to participate in anything that involves celery, thinking broccoli was invented by the devil. Well sure i took it to the extreme, so much so that I in fact, never grew out of it. We're talking a grown man who thinks Coco Puffs in whole milk for breakfast, the sandwich that sounds most terrifying from the deli IE Inferno, or Balboa for Lunch and a dinner of left over Halloween candy was a balanced diet. You're dealing with a slightly less naive Buddy the Elf here.

So whats a guy who probably has sticky blood and high blood pressure to boot to do? CHANGE EVERYTHING!!! First step buy a Nutri Bullet. Next get some Kale, Parsley, Almond Butter, Chia Seeds, Aloe Vera Gel, Ginger, Lemon, Lime, Local Honey. Got em all??? Good, it should look like this.

TASTY AS (Expletive Deleted)

Okay so I'm missing some stuff, but you get the idea. Put it all in a Nutri Bullet. Now BLEND IT!!!! hear that awesome sound as things start chopping together, grinding down into healthy stuff you can drink? Sounds awesome right? Now take it off the motor, open it up, look at that beautiful green thing staring back at you, looks fantastic doesn't it? now add a couple ice cubes. Madness you say, haha crazy like a fox. Screw that top on an blend some more. ICE CUBE SMASHING!!! sounds awesome right? Cool keep it going, blend some more, this thing better look like old school Nickelodeon Slime.

nom nom nom nom

You'll know you're good to go when it looks like this.

even tastier!

Now you're good to go, chug it down, yeah I know, I know, this is supposed to be about eating clean and loving it, but as stated above, I consider Halloween Candy to be an acceptable dinner, I doubt I'll ever LOVE vegetables, but I do like these, but more importantly I like how they make me feel. I combine my 2 a day with minimal sustenance to get me through the day because did I mention, these are the most filling things on the planet. Literally, you eat one you're good for HOURS! lets blast through the benefits really quick, Kale, C'mon its Kale for goodness sake high in Iron (more than beef!), Fiber, Anti Oxidants, Calcium, more vitamins than Flinstones Chewables and its great for your heart and liver, only two of the most important things in your body! Chia Seeds are AWESOME Fiber, Omega 3's more Calcium and Manganese, phosphorus to help maintain healthy bones and teeth as well, not to mention it fights a little thing called Diabetes. That's right these tiny lil seeds become gelatinous and help prevent blood sugar spikes, which I might add, stops massive insulin production and allows your body to tap into what for a fuel source? That's right those extra couple pounds hanging out at the love handles. Boom Chia Seeds, Boom. So now that Chia Seeds are at work, you're active and energized from eating so clean, what happens to all that fat you're burning? Well ill tell you, it gets burned for energy and all those fun lil cancer causing toxins hiding out in your fat cells are unleashed unto your body... FEAR NOT PARSLEY IS HERE!!!! Parsley, along with basically everything else I eat now have whats called "Chemoprotective" qualities. They go in and neutralize these cancer causing molecules, bind to them and flush them right out of your system. Doctors are looking for a cure for cancer, but that's kind of like a cop tracking down a murderer after his victims dead. I'm talking full on Minority Report style stepping in an kicking cancer in the face before it gets a chance to do the deed.