AWESOME THING I MUST HAVE pt. 1

New York- This is a new running feature I'm starting that will entail the new and fun things I find that I must have, but am probably too lazy to search Amazon for. These are the types of things I see and wish were already in my apartment, and forget about after 2-3 minutes. That's right dear readers, you are all being subjected to my sticky notes, I hope you enjoy.

Pop quiz, whats cooler, cutting your finger on A. a measuring tape B. a piece of paper C. a Ninjas Throwing Star. Take your time, I can wait. Okay for all of you who picked anything other than C, please report to Social Services to pick up your helmet. For everyone who isn't mentally challenged these are the band aids for you. Got in an accident with lawnmower, nope, you were attacked by a shark. Cut yourself shaving, maybe it was cause you were riding a motorcycle through a ring of fire at the time. Look, chicks digging scars is a myth, chicks dig the story behind scars. The 3" slice I have on my left bicep came when I met a thorny bush and gravity simultaneously on a steep hill. But according to half the women of East Stroudsburg  PA. it came when I was saving my little sister from a gang initiation and one dude was packing a switch blade. Its about damn time a Band Aid company did my lying for me. Now i can just plop down the price for these adhesive strips and call it a day, dignity in tact. And if I happen to be wearing one over my left eye to deal with a nasty jousting wound and it gets me laid at a Renaissance fair, well that works for me.